Decisions weigh like a heavy fog, and I’m right in the midst of it
Never forget it, Joyce. How God is always in control
How God is above the fog looking down, seeing the full picture
It doesn’t overwhelm Him.
Never forget it.
How you just have to let His voice of reassuring presence be enough in the midst of the mist
To let it guide you out of the mist
Just keep walking towards His voice
And confusion will gradually clear
Can I just spit it out? How terrified I am of the future and men cheating and babies leaving and of letting my joy be tethered tightly to someone elses’?
How terrified I am of not being enough
How terrified I am of destroying
How terrified I am of settling
How terrified I am of safe, comfortable Christianity
How terrified I am of change?
And why is it easier for me to be vulnerable from a platform
Than with a man?
Fear upends me and I am no longer calm
I am no longer strong
I am no longer unafraid
I am in a wild kind of poached-animal panic
But He comes and meets me and makes me calm
He is my strength
And I trust in his Brave
The God over my confusion gives me only that as clarity tonight.