There’s something to this. This finding God in your very being.
Can you look at yourself and say it?
“I reflect the heart of God.”
Maybe you can. Maybe you do.
For me, it has taken God has been doing some serious identity work over the last 6 months.
It’s hard. Everywhere you look, people have things to say about who you are, your dreams, and your future. It’s people in the church and people outside of the church.
And they can all make you feel all wrong.
They can tell you overtly or tacitly that the image of God is just this certain thing, this certain way. Godly women are these four attributes, and anything apart from that? They may be pieces of you, but they’re not pieces of God.
Are we humans guilty of trying to fit God into a mold? Do we try to fit his creative creations into a 9×12 frame? Do we assume we can know every ounce of His being? Are we prideful enough to imagine we hold the secret to every person’s joy in squeezing their personality to fit our box? If you’re this way, you’ll be right with Christ and happy.
Because there’s something transformational about exploring the unexplored areas of yourself and finding more of God. There’s something freeing about letting the definitions and suggestions of the world fade away and just asking God how He sees you. What He has for you. Letting him define you.
It turns out gentle love can drown out the sound of a thousand voices if you let it.
God is the only one who can decide if you’re his unique version of a Godly woman. The Bible and the Holy Spirit…they’ll let you know. People can have useful insights and experiences, but that should always be taken in conjunction with what God really says about who you are and why you’re here. Did you know that you can pursue holiness, be sensitive to the spirit and still be who you are?…and that’s exactly what God wants.
There’s not a lot out there in the Bible about being funny, and there’s a lot there on the internet about being a woman that laughs at a man’s jokes but is not too funny herself (too intimidating?). I liked my strength, humor, intelligence, independence and confidence a lot growing up, but from 24-28, those have felt like more of a liability than a gift. Because yeah, aren’t good Christian girls sweet, selfless, submissive and physically lovely all the time for their husbands? And maybe no one would ever describe you those ways. But maybe what separates the Good Christian Girls from the Godly Women is just accepting and walking in the fullness of what God has for them.
Because what God really says? “You’re funny on purpose. Your humor brings joy to the world. It makes people laugh. It makes life enjoyable and fun for people. That is a Holy purpose. You make me laugh, too. I crack up over you and the silly things you and all my other children do. I have equipped you with humor to build my church.”
We encounter difficulty and trial, not because we’re made wrong, but because He wants us to grow right. You’re not single because you’re wrong, because you’re unhealthy, because you’re weird, because you’re spiritually immature. You’re single because an all-knowing and loving God has deemed it crucial to your soul-health or to the souls of others.
I’m plain tired of doubting God. I’m tired of doubting that the view from the top of the mountain will be worth the suffering and the brokeness instead of enjoying or at the very least trusting God during the climb. Can I just unzip my pack and get rid of the heavy stones? Can I drop the weight of painful or disapproving comments when God says to “leave everything and follow me,” or do I choose to cling to them?
I’ve walked through years of scarcity before…and what I’m learning is that those were a training ground to prepare me for abundance. Maybe boom and bust cycles don’t just apply to financial markets. Maybe they’re tools God uses with friends and finances and opportunity and romance. Maybe the bleeding is really just God cutting the unfruitful branches off and re-directing us to Him.
Perhaps you can thank Him for your pain, because your pain and your purpose may be the same thing. Maybe it is what keeps you reaching out and getting filled instead of getting by. Maybe you’re meant to have brokenness that the world can’t fix, because there is no brokenness that God can’t outlove or overcome, and maybe He needs the world to see a glimpse of His glory through that. Through you.
And your emotional nature? Those times you are tempted to hate the fullness of joy and grief that you can feel in the same hour?
God has shown me just how special the parts of Him we all contain are. It was a truth this logical feeler needed to realize. God made man to express His image, but the fullness of His image wasn’t realized until He created His daughter. We share a different facet of God with the world. God wanted that to be expressed.
It can wreck you, the first time you realize God has unfathomably deep and complex emotions. Emotions that extend beyond anger, love, and jealousy. He feels broken-hearted, intense joy, exhilaration, gladness, and horrified grief. He allows himself to feel slayed by distance and grieved by sin. He enjoys silliness. And isn’t His tenderness rooted in emotion? How can I hate what is of God and from God’s very heart? He himself has chosen to feel, perhaps because He knows that sharing pain lessens it. And we get to do that for the world.
Maybe sometimes we get to pray and think our way to His will, and maybe sometimes we’re supposed to feel our way to His will. Feel our way to action. Feel our way through prayer. Maybe feeling women of the spirit are particularly gifted for such a purpose. Maybe we’re a way for God’s tenderness and empathy to enter the world.
And that strength that He wove into your DNA when He created you, Godly Woman?
Maybe you can thank Him for strength, because He tells you the secret. Men are not the only ones called to dream big dreams.
I don’t know what it is that God placed in you that you’re not sold on. But it’s there for a purpose to strengthen or sanctify you. It’s meant to help you reflect God’s heart and/or power to the world. But more than that, it’s just meant to draw you close to His heart. How do the things about you that seem painful or burdensome in this season draw you closer to God?